Nov 282014

This was something I started for an audio project for the blog several years ago. I decided to take it in a different direction, so this wound up in the dead directory on my HD. The dead directory is where things I’ve written go to be forgotten and die.

The project was called, Recordings.

(recorder turns on)

I… I… I… snuck out and got this recorder while he was out.  It was so hard for me to make myself go back into the dark.  I… I… I… see things in the dark.  Swirling ghosts appear before my eyes and… and… and… I know they aren’t real, but they look so real.  I tried to touch one, but my hand passed right through it.  I know it’s only the darkness playing tricks on me, but I’m scared of the dark!

Last time he left, I snuck out and tried to use the phone to call 911, but the phone is dead.  He keeps looking for me.  He stomps around the house and calls my name like he knows I’m still here, but he’ll never find me.  He’ll never find me.  He sounds so angry.  I only hope someone finds this recording so everyone will know what he did.

Oh no!  He’s back!

Angie!  Angela!  Where are you, girl?  Come out here now!  Angie!

(recorder turns off)

(recorder turns on)

I think he’s going to be gone for a while this time.  I already found what I could to eat in the kitchen.  The power has been out for a long time now, so I only grabbed some cookies, granola bars, bottled water, stuff that wasn’t in the fridge.  I don’t know how long the power has been out because I spend so much time in the dark.  It feels like forever.

I grabbed one of my dolls to keep me company and help me fight the darkness.

I’m so lonely.  I didn’t even know what the word lonely meant until now.

I… I… have to tell what happened.  I have to hurry before he comes back again.  Before he finds me and it’s too late!

Ok, (whew)

The power went out and at first it was fun.  My momma, Jim, and I sat around and played games by candlelight.  We live pretty far away from town, so we’re used to the power going out.  Sometimes it takes a long time for it to come back on, but the next day we still didn’t have power.

At breakfast, Jim was listening to a battery-powered radio, flipping through the channels, but most of them were that static sound like when you put the TV on a channel that isn’t there.  Those that weren’t static sounded… far away and were hard to hear.  Momma and Jim both had worried looks on their faces.  I leaned in close, trying to hear what the radio was saying, but Momma told me to go play in my room.

I pretended to play with my dolls, but I was standing at my door with my ear to it, trying to hear Momma and Jim.  They started fighting so quietly I could barely hear them…

Jim: The phones out.  (slams down the phone)

Momma: I think we need to go to the city and see what’s going on.  This can’t be real.  This has to be a joke!

Jim: The cities are in chaos and you really want to take a child there?  They’re under martial law for Christ’s sake!

Momma: Jim, I don’t believe it.  This has to be like some War of the Worlds prank someone is playing since the power is out.  I’ll go.  You stay here with her.  We need food anyway.

Jim:  You are not stepping one foot out of this house!  The entire United States is out of power and you think it’s a prank?

Momma: If the entire United States is out of power, how are they broadcasting?

Jim: Back up generators… I don’t know… the point is…

I didn’t understand.  Martial Law?  Does that have something to do with the Kung Fu movies Jim likes to watch?  Are people flying around town kicking each other?  That would be cool!

I interrupted them then and asked Momma if we could go to town to watch the big fight scene.  She rushed over and hushed me, then took me in my room and closed the door.  I tried to ask her what was going on, but she just walked over to my dolls, staring at them.  I pulled on her shirt and said, “Momma, what’s wrong?” but she just smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to play a game.  Adults never tell us kids anything.  Why is that?

The Daily Post – Leftovers Sandwich

Today, publish a post based on unused material from a previous piece –a paragraph you nixed, a link you didn’t include, a photo you decided not to use. Let your leftovers shine!

This was a bad cutting to use, but I always liked Angela and felt bad that her story was never told. Maybe I’ll tell her story another way, some other day.

Jan 082011

Through the evil gaze
of his soul-searching eyes
he peers into the deepest, darkest
reaches of my mind.
He tells me things about myself
the no one knows
and revels in the knowledge.
He laughs manically
and uses his sinister smile
to make me feel like the small person
I know I am.


Jan 012011

Chained to a wall of emotion
I cry a cry that no one hears
The chains grow tighter
Unseen are the tears

Locked in a world of pain
Scars decorate my wrist
My life – inane
This world – amiss

The kiss of death
Has fallen upon me
The dragon’s breath
Set me free

Confusion, confusion
Life, love, and dreams
It’s all an illusion
Or so it seems

Shackled, bound to this horrid place
Pain, a scream in the night
Leather yet lace
Scared of love’s bite


Dec 262010

Very, very, very OLD one.

Kiss Me My Dear

As I sit in this desolate place,
Chained to the walls of my fear,
No smile shines upon my face,
Only, a tear.

Emotions change rapidly on the outside,
Feeling I can no longer control.
In this desolate place I hide,
No longer taking the role.

The pain I can no longer explain.
Times were happy for you and I
Til your death brought the pain,
Now to forget you I can only try.

For you were very dear to me
A friend to confide in
A friend, for whom as it may be
I commit my final sin.

Kiss me my dear, for now I take my life.
Don’t object, it’s too late, I’ve already raised the knife.


Dec 182010

“I opened my eyes this morning and I saw you laying next to me. I smiled as you opened your eyes and you smiled back at me… your hair shimmering in the morning sun. As I reached over to touch your face, the image of you began to fade. I was alone,” she starred down at the rose in her hand, gently playing with the petals.

“It was like reliving a memory of happier times. Back when we were together, when everything felt so right, so perfect. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and fall back to sleep. I wanted to dream about us and how good it used to be, but instead I cried. Heaving sobs that made me feel like a lost child in a world of torment,” she sighed, wiping back the tears that began to form in her eyes.

“I miss you, but I know we can never be together again. The dreams we once had are long lost… as lost as I am, but I still remember. I’ll always remember.”

“Remember the time we went to the park for a picnic?” she stood and began to pace back and forth. A smile of remembrance crossing her face. ” I never saw you smile so often or look so happy. I glanced over at you and became lost in your eyes for a moment. When you asked me what was wrong, I told you I loved you for the first time. I was so scared, but I thought my heart was going to burst when you told me that you loved me, too.”

“We walked hand in hand that day, talking long into the night. We planned out everything, our lives together, how many children we were going to have, how happy and long our lives would be. I was never so happy in my life. And that night… you showed me your love in so many ways. All I wanted to do was stay in your arms forever,” she blushed and stared down at her feet.

“When I woke up that morning, your face was right next to mine. You were sleeping so peacefully and you looked so beautiful to me. I reached over and stroked your hair, ran my fingers lightly down your face.” She imitated the action in the air, pretending to run her fingers down his face like they ached to. “You stirred and slowly opened your eyes and smiled. I always melted when you smiled. Such a little thing, but your smile could brighten the darkest days.”

“Oh, how I miss you. I wanted that perfect life. I wanted to be with you now and always.”

Crying, she walked away. Tossing the rose she carried in her hand onto his grave.

“I love you. I always will.”

Dec 042010


She can feel the rhythmic movement
and the heat
unbearable heat

Her senses dulled
she knows what is happening
But is powerless to stop it
“No!” she screams at him
But he doesn’t stop
He’ll never stop
Until she’s dead

He kills her slowly
And laughs manically at what he’s done
Every day a piece of her slips away
She grabs at the pieces
like torn paper on the wind
Lost for all eternity


Nov 272010


The world is silent around her
The purple skies weep
As she bites into her skin
Sending needles of pain up her arm

She gnaws at her arm
Tearing away the flesh
And revealing a person
She doesn’t remember

Once drops of desire
Now flow freely
Across the cold, hard ground

She screams in pain
But the world is silent around her
Forgotten, lost
She screams alone


Nov 202010


She sits alone
In the corner of a dank, dark room
Rocking back and forth on her heels
She sighs, the pain too much to bare

Where are the times of yesterday
When words were pretty swirling colors
That entered her ears and enticed her brain

Where are the times of yesterday
When everything around her was bright

Now the grey walls surround her
Closing her in
Friendship, a distant memory
Words cut like a knife into her skin

Blood drips from her eyes
As she cries
But no one notices
Because she’s invisible


Nov 132010

The shame from ages passed
encircles my life
my every thought and deed
Like a demon that cannot
be outrun
It engulfs me
and smothers my spirit
Carrying my shame
hiding it
concealing it from
those that care
I drive everyone away
afraid that someone
will see through my walls
will see my shame
and turn from me in disgust


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